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| this is from my sister. haha.
The key to survival is denial.
We deny. We're in denial. We see what we want to see, believe what we
want to believe. We lie so much to ourselves that sometimes it seems
like the truth. We deny so much we cant recognize the truth right in
front of our faces.
But sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the
ass. And when the damn bursts, all you can really do is swim.
The world of pretend is a cage, not a coccoon. We can only lie to
ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared. Denying it doesnt
cage the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial, head
on, guns blazing, and face the world.
Denial. Its not just a river in egypt. It's an effing ocean. So how do you keep from drowning from it?
if you're freaking attentive, you know now what my life is all about. Whatever is happening with me and with my friends. hahaha. do i know something?
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| I wrote this 2 years ago. Bitter? hahaha. Not anymore. haha. ive moved on, had a million heartaches after him, i just didnt realize it. kamusta naman. haha. Manhid? haha. o well, have to chat with mimi and marc, so here it is. this is the 4th time i think that i posted this.
I wouldnt really
recommend fairy tale stories during bedtime. I was a product of this
"fairy tale bedtime stories" myself and that is the reason why my life
now is so freaking complicated.
Because of these fairy tale
stories, girls grow up thinking that they too have a life just like
cinderella or sleeping beauty or snow white or belle. They think that
their life is also a fairy tale waiting to happen. They also think that
their's also has a prince charming and a happy ending as well. Well, i
hate to tell you this girls, but... fairy tales dont happen in real
life. There is no prince charming or a knight in shining armor waiting
for you in the garden. And if not always, most of the time, there is no
happy ending.
These are the realities of life. People just dnt
fall in love with ugly beasts. People break-up. People fight. And most
of the time, they dont wind-up together again. This is what i call
"life".
So if you still think your life is a fairy tale, wake up and
smell the polluted air. Dont expect a happy ending, because most
probably, there wouldnt be any.
Take my life as an example.I thought
i had a life exactly like cinderella's, complete with evil step
sisters, a price charming and a castle. Suddenly my "prince charming"
ran away with a lovely maiden. So.. Still like cinderella's? well,
yea... My life is just like cinderella's, the only difference is, i
never got my happy ending.... | | |
| scared as hell?
ang hirap noh?
akala mo kaya mo?
bibigay ka rin pala.
I told dom i couldnt do it.
Mas mahihirapan ako dito keysa sa dati.
Im sorry.
You'll soon know what this is for.
It's better this way. IT'll benefit all. It'll make life easier for some, harder for me.
So help me God.
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| i didnt see jet yesterday. I didnt write him a letter. Not because i didnt have the time, i just didnt want to accept that fact that he is really leaving. ayoko lang. I also dont want to cry, kasi feel ko wala akong karapatan. Si julie meron kasi super friends sila. I mean, forever naman din sila magkasama eh. Hello, bestfriends na rin kasi sila. I mean if perk, for some unknown reason, left for good din, id probably do the same (subukan mo lang perkin!). Ive spent everyday with perk and julie and jet before. Power four nga eh. julie is bestfriends with jet, and im bestfriends with perk. Ang difference? si jet ang binubugbog ni julie, samin ni perk, ako yung stressball. pero seriously, ive thought about it a lot. Parati na lang akong iniiwan ng bestfriends. bongga ang drama. lets start with, orange? well si orange andyan parin, pero we dont talk that much anymore, or at all. Change of friends i guess. magkaiba lang ng crowd. kyla. my gymnastic buddy in grade 3. She left the same year for canada. We still send emails naman every once in a while. I really missed her. I hope i could see her again though. angela tinana. we used to fight a lot before, tapos naging close kami. haha. weird. left for the states. She called 5 years ago tho. Ms. Taguiam, lets not dwell on that. and so on.. If julie leaves, id bring her goddess butt back. If sai leaves, i dont know what to do. If dom leaves, id have to load a million bucks coz i would always text and talk to her If chins would leave, id follow. If perk would leave, id cry. uuuuyyyy. hahaha. joke lang. Purely platonic. | | |
| more than a year ago, i entered dlsu with doubts. LPEP was the first day i saw my classmates and blockmates to be. I was late as usual, i live in commonwealth for crying out loud. I entered this huge auditorium and everyone was staring at me as i walk towards my new blockmate, i wanted to vanish, thankfully, there was this guy who was late too. So i sat down and chatted with another person, his name is abdul. And all we ever did during the ceremony was laugh, that was abdul. So this guy, who came in late with me was also laughing, obviously trying to join in our discussion. I was wiith the both of them until i saw geno, and chaos was created. But still the guy was still there, his name was jet. And then starting that day, me together with 9 other blockmates became a group. I cannot imagine what life would be if jet wasnt really there during the first day. It was jet who introduced me to kriscel and tiutz, and i think alex. And now that jet is leaving for good, it makes me wonder what my life would be in dlsu whenever i need to laugh. I think its partly unfair that jet would actually tell us that he's leaving school, the day that he is leaving it. I think what is more unfair is that he gave us only weeks to get over the idea and get used to the fact that he is leaving this country and we might never ever see him again. (im getting teary eyed). I guess the only thing that i could actually do is get mad him for leaving because, it would lessen the pain and the what ifs. Jet is truly one of the funniest people i know. I just cant imagine what life without jet will be. What if i needed to laugh? what if i wanted to scare someone while watching a movie. What if we wanted to go to laguna or anywhere else for that matter.
tears are falling down my eyes because i know i will have to say goodbye to one of the friends that i truly treasure.
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